7 Lessons we learned from Patrick Zaldarriaga

7 LESSONS WE LEARNED FROM PATRICK ZALDARRIAGA

GOOD MORNING FR. JOHNNY GO, SCHOOL ADMINISTRATORS, TEACHERS, PARENTS, STUDENTS, FRIENDS.
IT IS WITH GREAT HONOR THAT I STAND BEFORE YOU TODAY TO RECEIVE THE MAGIS AWARD, ON BEHALF OF PATRICK. I’M VERY SURE THAT IF HE WAS HERE STANDING BEFORE US, HE WOULD BE VERY HAPPY, HONORED AND THANKFUL.

AS YOU MAY WELL KNOW, PATRICK ATTENDED PRIMARY AND HIGH SCHOOL HERE AT XAVIER SCHOOL. A LOT OF HIS FRIENDS REMEMBER PATRICK AS THAT CHUBBY AND BUBBLY BIG BOY BACK IN GRADE SCHOOL.

THINGS CHANGED 4 YEARS AGO, WHEN AT 12 YEARS OLD, HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BONE CANCER. AS HIS PARENTS, WE WERE DEVASTATED WITH THE NEWS…. BUT PATRICK, HE WAS BRAVE AND STRONG…. LIKE SOMEONE SILENTLY PREPARING FOR BATTLE.
FOR THIS REASON, MY WIFE AND I TOLD EACH OTHER THAT WE WILL FIGHT THIS TOGETHER AS A FAMILY.
AND THEN THE CHEMO STARTED. EACH TIME, HIS FIGHTING SPIRIT AND LOVE FOR LIFE MADE PATRICK SURVIVE THAT ONE-YEAR ORDEAL AT CARDINAL SANTOS HOSPITAL. HE HARDLY COMPLAINED, ALTHOUGH GOD TESTED HIS FAITH TO THE FULLEST. BUT TILL THE END, HE HAD GREAT FAITH IN GOD.

AFTER THAT, PATRICK WAS IN REMISSION FOR TWO YEARS, BUT SLOWLY, THE CANCER RETURNED AND SUBSEQUENT SURGERIES HAD TO BE DONE. FULL OF OPTIMISM, HE NEVER BACKTRACKED, AND BRAVELY FACED EACH SURGERY WITH THE HOPE OF FINDING THE CURE. HE REALLY WANTED TO LIVE. BY THAT TIME, HOWEVER, THE CANCER HAD SPREAD TO HIS LUNGS.

THE 1ST SURGERY WAS JUST A SIMPLE PROCEDURE OF REMOVING THE LUNG NODULES IN HIS CHEST. THE 2ND ONE INVOLVED OPENING HIS ENTIRE LEFT LUNG TO REMOVE MORE NODULES. THE 3RD, A REPEATED OPENING OF THE LEFT LUNG BUT THIS TIME WITH A COMPLICATION AS DOCTORS FOUND A TUMOR NEAR HIS SPINE, VERY NEAR THE ABDOMINAL AORTA. THE SURGEONS SAID THAT THEY MAY NOT BE ABLE TO REMOVE IT. AT THAT TIME, WE WERE AT THE OPERATING AREA WITH CINDY YANG, THE MOTHER OF KEVIN YANG. TOGETHER WE PRAYED THE ROSARY AND WHEN WE FINISHED, THE SURGEONS STEPPED OUT TO TELL US THE GOOD NEWS THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO REMOVE THE TUMOR.

HOWEVER, FOR THE 4TH, SURGERY, THEY HAD TO REMOVE A PART OF THE TUMOR NEAR HIS SPINE AND ABDOMINAL AORTA. THIS TURNED TO BE AN OPEN AND CLOSE SURGERY, AS SURGEONS WERE UNABLE TO REMOVE IT. WE WERE TOLD THAT HAD THEY PUSHED FOR IT, PATRICK WOULD HAVE DIED INSTANTLY AT THE OPERATING TABLE.

THE DOCTORS LIKEWISE TOLD US THAT PATRICK WAS LEFT WITH ONLY A FEW MONTHS TO LIVE BECAUSE MEDICAL SCIENCE CAN NO LONGER DO ANYTHING TO CURE HIM.

YOU CAN JUST IMAGINE HOW DEVASTATED WE WERE WITH THIS NEWS. ALL THE WHILE, PATRICK KNEW EVERYTHING, YET HE WAS DETERMINED TO STRUGGLE AND FIGHT FOR HIS LIFE. THIS TIME, HE TOLD US NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT HIS PREDICAMENT. THIS WAS GOING TO BE HIS OWN BATTLE TILL THE END.

THAT WAS SIX MONTHS AGO.
THE TRUTH WAS, PATRICK DIDN’T WANT TO GIVE PAIN AND SADNESS TO HIS FRIENDS AND CLASSMATES. HE SAID THAT THIS THING WAS BETWEEN HIM AND GOD.

WHILE WE NEVER STOPPED SEEKING ALTERNATIVE TREATMENTS, WE NOW UNDERSTAND THAT NOTHING CAN STOP THE SPREAD OF CANCER…
JUST OVER A MONTH AGO, PATRICK BECAME PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN AS A RESULT OF THE TUMOR IN HIS SPINE. THE NEXT FEW WEEKS AFTER THAT, HE WAS IN AND OUT OF THE CARDINAL SANTOS ICU AS HIS BODY BEGAN TO DETERIORATE VERY QUICKLY. IT CAME TO A POINT THAT HE CAN NO LONGER EAT OR DRINK, AND WE HAVE TO PUT A STOMACH TUBE JUST SO WE CAN PUT FOOD IN HIS BODY. EVEN HIS BREATHING BECAME EXTREMELY LABORED THAT AN OXYGEN MASK WAS PLACED TO AID HIM IN BREATHING.
ALL THROUGHOUT HIS ORDEAL, HE WAS ALWAYS IN DEEP PRAYER. HE WOULD ASK US TO RECITE THE ROSARY WITH HIM EVERY SINGLE DAY. DAILY PRAYER WAS HIS SOURCE OF STRENGTH.

ON JUNE 12,2010, PATRICK GAVE HIS LAST BREATH. WE KNEW IN OUR HEARTS THAT EVEN IF THE CANCER CONQUERED HIS PHYSICAL BODY, IT NEVER DEFEATED HIS SPIRIT OF COURAGE AND HOPE. PATRICK, UNTIL THE END, FOUGHT A LONG AND HARD BATTLE, BUT NEVER WAVERED IN HIS FAITH IN GOD. HE CLUTCHED THE ROSARY TIGHTLY IN HIS HANDS WHEN HE DIED.
DURING AND AFTER THE WAKE, WE HAD A CONTINOUS STREAM OF CONDOLENCES AND WORDS OF CONCERN FROM RELATIVES, CLASSMATES AND FRIENDS.

WE LEARNED MORE ABOUT PATRICK’S LIFE FROM THEM, AND TO THIS DAY, HE CONTINUES TO SURPRISE US. THIS MAGIS AWARD IS ONE SUCH SOURCE OF AMAZEMENT.

GOD GAVE PATRICK SO MANY GIFTS. HE WAS SUCH A PERFORMER, HE WROTE WELL AND HE HAD A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR. ACADEMICALLY, HE WAS GIFTED. HE WAS SELF- LESS AND SENSITIVE TO THE NEEDS OF OTHERS. I GUESS THERE WAS ONLY ONE GIFT THAT HE DID NOT HAVE AND THAT WAS THE GIFT OF A FULL LIFE.
PATRICK WOULD HAVE BEEN 17 YEARS OLD THIS DECEMBER 26.

NOW THAT HE IS WITH GOD OUR FATHER, I HAVE COME TO REALIZE THE MANY THINGS I LEARNED FROM PATRICK, NOT ONLY AS HIS FATHER, BUT AS A FELLOW HUMAN BEING WHO IS JUST LIKE HIM – BORROWING TIME ON THIS EARTH.

1. FIRST IS HIS IMMENSE LOVE FOR LIFE – MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, PATRICK TAUGHT ME AND MANY OTHERS, HOW IT IS TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST. FROM HIM I LEARNED THAT IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO BE HAPPY DEEP INSIDE. LOVING LIFE MEANS SHARING THE HAPPINESS YOU FEEL INSIDE AND MAKING OTHERS HAPPY, TOO. IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO BRAVELY ACCEPT THINGS AS THEY ARE. LOVING LIFE MEANS BEING SENSITIVE AND ACCEPTING THE WAY OTHERS FEEL, EVEN IF IT CAUSES YOU PAIN. PATRICK’S LOVE FOR LIFE WAS SIMPLY SELFLESS AND ENORMOUS.

2. THE SECOND LESSON I LEARNED IS COURAGE IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY. I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I BELIEVE IT IS SO HARD TO BE BRAVE WHEN THE BATTLE YOU’RE FACING IS ALL ABOUT YOU… YOUR LIFE. IN EACH AND EVERY SURGERY OR PROCEDURE HE UNDERWENT, PATRICK WAS LIKE A SOLDIER, READY FOR BATTLE, AND NOT ONCE, LOSING HOPE. I’D LIKE TO THINK HE WAS BEING BRAVE FOR US, PARTICULARLY FOR HIS MOM AND I. TO THE VERY END, ALL HE WANTED WAS TO PREPARE US FOR HIS PASSING. NOW I UNDERSTAND. HIS LOVE FOR US WAS THE SOURCE OF HIS COURAGE.

3. THIRD IS HIS GREAT FAITH IN GOD. FOR MANY PEOPLE IN PAIN, THE EASIEST WAY TO EXPRESS EMOTION WOULD BE TO BUCKLE DOWN AND BLAME GOD FOR ALL THE SUFFERINGS. THAT WAS NEVER PATRICK’S STYLE. HE CHOSE TO HANG ON WITH GOD, ESPECIALLY IN PAIN. SOME THREE WEEKS AGO, HE ASKED US TO BRING HIM TO PANGASINAN TO SPEAK TO OUR LADY OF MANAOAG. DETERMINED TO EXPRESS HIS EMOTIONS, HE SPOKE WITH HER IN THE ALTAR, DEEP IN PRAYER. HE MADE US SEE HOW EVEN MORE POWERFUL ONE’S FAITH CAN BECOME, IN THE FACE OF SUFFERING.

4. FOURTH, IS HIS LOVE FOR HIS PARENTS. THOUGH HE WAS ALREADY IN THE THRESHOLD OF ADULTHOOD, PATRICK REMAINED CHILDLIKE WITH US IN OUR PRIVATE MOMENTS….EMBRACING AND KISSING US WHENEVER HE FELT LIKE IT. THERE WERE NO SECRETS WITH HIM. YES, HE TOLD US EVERYTHING, EVEN HIS LOVE INTERESTS. WE WERE NOT JUST HIS PARENTS, WE WERE HIS BEST FRIENDS. AND THAT’S BECAUSE WE GAVE HIM THE FREEDOM TO SPEAK HIS MIND. THERE MAY BE TIMES HE DISAGREED WITH US, BUT WHEN WE TOLD HIM IT WAS FOR HIS OWN GOOD, HE WOULD LISTEN AND BE OBEDIENT. PATRICK REMINDS AND INSPIRES ME NOW TO BECOME THE SAME TO MY OWN PARENTS. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE YOUR PARENTS’ BEST FRIENDS.

5. THE FIFTH LESSON I LEARNED IS HOW TO BE A MAN FOR OTHERS. PATRICK HAD A CERTAIN SENSITIVITY TO PEOPLE WHO SUFFERED. I NOTICED THIS ABOUT HIM. EVERYTIME WE PRAYED, HE WOULD ALWAYS THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO WERE SUFFERING APART FROM HIMSELF, AND WOULD ASK ME TO INCLUDE THEM IN OUR DAILY INTENTIONS.

6. SIXTH, IS THE GIFT OF JOY AND CONTENTMENT. UNLIKE OTHER KIDS, THE SIMPLEST THINGS MADE PATRICK HAPPY. LIKEWISE, IT WAS EASY FOR HIM TO FIND SOMETHING FUNNY TO LAUGH ABOUT IN THE MOST SIMPLE OF SITUATIONS. THAT SUNSHINY SMILE EXPOSED MORE THAN JUST BRACED TEETH. HE TAUGHT ME THAT HAPPINESS STEMS FROM INSIDE YOUR HEAD AND YOUR HEART. AND THAT NO ONE, NOT EVEN CANCER, CAN TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU, WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.

7. FINALLY, THE SEVENTH LESSON I LEARNED FROM MY SON, IS WHAT HIS MOM AND I ARE NOW WORKING ON. THE ABILITY TO MOVE ON AND CONTINUE LIVING…. NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT IT IS, WITHOUT HIM.

THE MORNING AFTER HE PASSED AWAY, KUTCHIE AND I WOKE UP TO FIND OURSELVES WITHOUT A SON TO CUDDLE. YOU CANNOT IMAGINE HOW PAINFUL THAT FEELS. BUT NOW, WE KNOW. THE NEXT FEW WEEKS AND MONTHS MAY STILL FEEL THE SAME, BUT WE KNOW, SOON…. ALL THESE WILL PASS. AND WHAT WILL REMAIN IS THE BEAUTIFUL MEMORY OF GOD’S GREATEST GIFT TO US. HIS NAME IS PATRICK ZALDARRIAGA ,OUR ONLY CHILD.

EVERYDAY, HE IS TEACHING US TO COPE WITH LIFE ONCE AGAIN. HE IS GIVING US HINTS THAT IT IS TIME TO MOVE ON. FOR ME, RECEIVING THIS AWARD ON HIS BEHALF IS EXACTLY ONE OF THOSE SIGNS. THIS MAGIS AWARD WILL FOREVER REMIND ME OF THE MANY LESSONS HIS SHORT BUT MEANINGFUL LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME.

I’D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR RECOGNIZING MY SON’S GIFTS AND WONDERFUL QUALITIES. HE IS SMILING RIGHT NOW, I CAN ALMOST FEEL HIS PRESENCE.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, I WISH THAT EVERYTHING I HAVE SHARED WITH YOU TODAY WOULD INSPIRE YOU TO STOP, AND THINK ABOUT JUST HOW BEAUTIFUL REALLY THIS LIFE IS… NO MATTER HOW DIFFICULT AND CHALLENGING IT FEELS LIKE, LIFE WILL ALWAYS BE A TEST IN OUR FAITH IN GOD. SO FIGHT YOUR BATTLES IF YOU MUST, BUT I HOPE PATRICK’S COURAGE WOULD GIVE YOU A REASON TO REMAIN HOPEFUL AND FULL OF TRUST IN GOD, SPECIALLY IF THE PROBLEMS YOU ARE FACING IS BEYOND YOUR CONTROL.

IN THE BEGINNING, AS IT IS IN THE END, ONLY ONE THING REMAINS.
ALL OF US DESIRE TO BE RELEVANT, TO CREATE POSITIVE CHANGE,
SO AS TO BE REMEMBERED FOR THE GOOD WE HAVE DONE AND FOR THE GREATER GLORY OF GOD.

AS I QUOTE FROM ONE OF PATRICK’S JOURNALS HE SAID “WHAT IS YOUR ROLE? YOUR PURPOSE? GOD LEND YOU YOUR LIFE FOR SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT. CHANGE.INFLUENCE.BELIEVE.”

PATRICK HAS LEFT US, BUT HIS IMPRINT IN OUR HEARTS AND MINDS IS GOING TO BE HERE FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!