I’m trying to get myself out of this black cloud on my head.
I’m trying to get myself out of this black cloud on my head.
Mar 27, ’09 1:20 PM
for everyone
I’m set to be operated on again this coming Friday, to do 1 these: a) To fix and patch a break on the bone on the affected leg or b) to REDO the entire process and replace the transplanted bone itself. Oh and that’s not all, there’s a spec on my lung that has to be removed, which will leave me in the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) for 2 days tops! Am I gonna get out of this alive?
I find myself back in 2006 again.
When things like this come my way, I try my best to…well…act tough about it and treat it as if it was a harmless little thing, and yeah, no matter how complicated it may be. But then, I just can’t help but be devastated about it, because it really is devastating, thinking that after what I went through in the last couple of years, I thought I was off the hook. Turns out otherwise. But then, I should be prepared for things like this to come, considering that though I’m in remission, the damage Cancer did on me and my systems left me pretty screwed up, to say the least.
It just sucks how why this had to happen. I mean…damn it, I’m trying to get back to a normal life, and this has to effin ruin everything. I hate how everyone has to be sad and effin depressed again, while I’m the only one here trying to be positive about it. The depression on their faces is making it hard for me to be the PZ that I should be. I hate that stinking aura and feeling of misery in the air, everytime something happens to me. It effin sucks. Can’t we just treat this as something easy and simple? I don’t care if this is a major operation. Well considering the facts, this would one day really happen.
But being the guy that I am, I will make it out alive. There isn’t a damn thing cancer, my leg or my lungs can do about it. There were worse things like this in the past 3 years. This operation is essentially harmless.
Hey what d’ya know, I can always joke about this…my leg swings like a psychic’s pocket watch, hell, it can hypnotize someone.
2 weeks in the hospital? 1 month tops? Should be sweet.
But then, why am I in this situation? What did I do to deserve any of this? Everytime I run away from the sadness, it just keeps coming back…
The pain keeps coming back…
The memories that I never wanted to remember, keeps coming back…
What am I supposed to do…
God, help me out here…
PZ. To Defy.
